Sadness

I know Ive let you down
I am made sick by indifference
I cant roll back time
To gentler days
I cant change the weather
Waiting for the sun
Seems like forever
Frozen in my pain
Ashamed of my need
Or is it just greed
I become like those I despise
Hating myself,my apathy
I didnt plan this to be
After all that work and pain
Am I slowly drivng myself insane
Faith has disappeared
And I know what I could never be
It all conspires against me
So blatantly
Fear and struggling
Like a soldier in a mudfilled trench
This endless solitude
Falling through the cracks
Slowly but surely
The loneliness attacks
I hate these times
I cant roll back the years
Only look at pictures
And reread your letters in tears

Still Life

Its so quiet here now
Where hours ago was laughter and song
It seems strange to say
To watch silence and shadows
This Still life
I walk slowly through life
Its a minefield, I"m wary of strife
Jelousy,envy,ego, greed
Things blow up for no reason
The tongue is a fire
That starts an inferno for a season
Seasons change, but my world
Always seems to get colder
I am treading through a minefield it seems
Did I make someone mad or sad or glad
Wandering, wondering
Running from things that bring joy
People and laughter.
I wonder what I do
To upset, to placate,to endure
Sadness, gladness,madness
So confusing
I am the author of my life
Yet fate and chaos
Is always there

The Background

I want
To stay in the shadows
Live in the background
Roam empty highways
And paths less travelled

I crave ,
Solitude and silence and the sublime
The crowds were never my joy
To perform has never been a ploy

My dream,
To see an angel like you
Caressing the crowd with your voice
A beauty that surpasses understanding
To watch heaven unfold in your songs

My desire,
To be there for you
You and your little ones
The hurting one who deserves so much better

Innocence

I tried to help
To console and comfort

I never understood the hate
I was repaid with

But now I do
I have read your thoughts
The spiritual arrogance
Breeds the paranoia
Why cant you wait
Why cant you forgive
Why wont you humble yourself
And pray to the real Christ
And not your false ones.
Your heart is so hard
Each day that passes
Each day you hate truth
And choose your lies instead

You are dying inside
And I have told you why

Another world

Days are so empty now

Filled with sadness

Silliness on TV

Watching the madness

Greed magnified by

Billions of strangers with lusts

Stolen money,everything promised

Nothing repaid

They wont work

Investing in something called wait



Seeing friends fade

Hurts and slights magnified

Through space and time

Wondering

Wondering
If we will ever meet
Will it ever be complete

Wandering
On this earth


I cant say when
Time is flowing,running out
Cant stop the sun from moving

A sadness is there
Incomplete,unfinished
Starving ,delerious
Overcome,not yet
Exhausted
I contemplate

Naked

I listen to your soft voice
My goddess of song and love
You are so very far away
I love you anyway
Forever in my heart to stay

I lie naked in the warm sun
The wind and rays caressing me
Like your voice always does
Overwhelmed with passion,
Love and devotion
For you